it means the world to me
by Kazutoes
Summary: X truly doesn't realize what he has done until Speed points it out to him. Harshly.


"See what you've done, X?" Speed retorted as he retreated to the back of the cell. "If you didn't- If you didn't decide to betray Dad and me, then maybe we wouldn't be in this mess."

"What did I do?" X grumbled, his eyes still trained on the brightly lit cell bars. "If I seem to recall before everything went to shit, you had such an admiration for Dad. I wasn't the only one at fault,"

"What?! How is it my fault you went dark side and completely ignored us for your new sponsor? You distrusted him in the first place!" Speed couldn't help but glare at his older brother in frustration.

"How was I supposed to trust the man that called himself my father after he abandoned us for sixteen years?" X resisted the urge to whirl around and grab Speed. "I kept telling you that you shouldn't trust him, but you didn't listen."

"I'm sorry I was happy that my long lost father came back into my life? Not all of us grew up knowing who our parents are, X," Speed huffed and sat back against the cold, stony wall. "And you know he had a good reason for doing so!"

"Yeah, to protect you, I know. I've heard it a thousand times." X rolled his eyes, a flash of jealousy thumping in his chest. He knew rationally that it truly wasn't Speed's fault that their dad went into hiding. But it was easier to blame your anger on someone else than to accept the truth. At least, that's what he thought was easier.

"Well clearly it hadn't gotten through your thick skull that it was more than just me at stake."

X's anger flared. "Oh look, how modest," He mocked as he turned towards Speed. "You and I both know you're more important to him than me."

"Maybe if you weren't a jerk to him all of the time to him, he would actually show that he loves you!" Speed exploded, nearly screaming at his brother. He stood up and walked towards X, his hands clenched into fists.

"You betrayed him, X! You betrayed him, Annalise, Spritle, Lucy, Connor..."

X couldn't help but notice the pained expression that crossed Speed's face, before it returned back to a cold facade. "You... you betrayed me."

Before X could try to say anything, Speed continued on, his voice considerably quieter and filled with sorrow.

"You decided to work for the committee. You joined the ranks of people who have actively tried to kill me and my friends. You ignored us for days. Annalise and I were worried sick, Dad was constantly asking us if we had heard from you. Everyone was constantly checking their phones and comm. systems to see if you had finally decided to talk to us again. Even Spritle had Damien out on the roads looking for you. You worried us so, so much..."

Speed took a breath, his eyes closing to try and steady himself.

"You kidnapped Alpha Leader, someone who was innocent in this entire mess. He didn't deserve what was happening to him, he just wanted to race. Not even that, we had to drag him into this whole time-travel… thing! You left us to die, X! I have told you time and time again that the committee was evil, yet you never listened to me.."

X watched as Speed slowly stepped back, a hurt look in his eyes.

"You were so focused on the committee, you abandoned us. Everyone. Do you know how crushing that is? To have someone you cherished and trusted completely leave you behind for something so much more dark? We were going to to pro together, remember? After we graduate?"

A pause.

"You couldn't even keep a single, stupid promise we made to each other. Did that mean so little to you?" He asked, accusatory. "Did everyone mean so little to you?"

X couldn't say a word. He wanted to shout and scream back, "No, I never meant to hurt any of you!". But he stayed silent as Speed stared at him, angry and tearful.

"Did they, X? Was that why you figured that it was somehow okay to drive your own little brother off a cliff?!"

There was a moment of pause before Speed finally realized what he had said, his eyes wide. X felt his own heart drop into his chest as it finally hit him. The one thing that he had been avoided thinking about for a while. He drove Speed off a cliff. Without feeling anything.

Speed's breath hitched as he forced out his next words, his gaze shifted from the wall to X.

"You- you drove me off a cliff," Speed whispered, staring at X with sadness.

"Speed, I-" X tried to say, but didn't know what to do. There were so many things that needed to be said, that he didn't know where to even start. He watched as Speed tried to wipe away unshed tears, resisting the urge to hug his little brother.

"It was you. My own brother; the one person who I thought would protect me. Like you said, that day. Do... do you even realize what you did?"

X felt like he had been hit by a train. He didn't even realize what he had done. It had seemed so insignificant at the time, more focused on 'helping' the committee revolutionize the world instead of being with his family, who needed him. And here he was, betraying everyone he loved for some stupid sponsorship.

"You could've killed me."

X was stunned into silence as Speed stood there, staring at the floor.

"They would've found my body at the bottom of that cliff, crushed along with the Mach 6. Nobody would know who did it, either. They would call it an accident, that I had lost control and swerved."

X's heart constricted at the thought of Speed being dead. He didn't even want to imagine it.

"Was that what you wanted?" Speed asked after a moment, looking away yet again.

"No, I-" X couldn't find the words to communicate how sorry he was. He truly didn't realize how much he had hurt his friends and family, even going as far as to try and kill his own brother.

"Was it worth it? Hurting all of us?"

"Speed, listen-" X tried to speak, despite the fact he kept choking up.

"I never meant to hurt any of you," He exhaled, his own eyes tearing up.

"Oh, really? You 'didn't want to hurt us?'" Speed mocked, his voice cold. "I sure hope it was worth it, asshole."

Speed's eyes narrowed as he delivered the final blow. "You betrayed all of us. Live with that." He hissed, before he finally walked away from X.

X tried not to notice the sound of converses that scuffed up the ground as Speed finally collapsed to the floor, or the sound of stifled sobs that came from his brother as he stood there, a million thoughts running through his head. He felt himself collide with a wall as his legs threatened to give out, and suppressed the urge to start crying too.

He can't even begin to fathom how much he screwed up. Speed might as well give him his "worst brother of the decade" award, because he truly felt like the worst.

Flashes of the scene where X threw Speed off of that damned cliff ran through his head, almost being able to hear how terrified Speed was when he fell.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, bro," He remembered saying, turning the wheel sideways to bump against the front side of the Mach 6.

"X, what are you doing-?" He heard Speed gasp before he gave the final push, watching as his little brother took the plunge off of the cliff. The sound of the Mach 6's warnings blaring loudly, Speed screaming "No!" Before X turned off his comm system.

X felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn't believe he did that to Speed, it felt like a vivid dream. Tears started to fall down his face as even more memories started to flash, giving pictures to the events Speed described.

The day him and Speed fought, before that pro race. How he acted towards Dad, kidnapping Alpha.

This really was all of his fault.

And he had no idea how to fix it.

X couldn't tell how long it had been since they were stuck into this cell. His phone was out of battery (and has been since they came here, damned time travel.) and couldn't find a clock anywhere.

"Speed?" He asked, and hoped for a response. Although expected, he didn't get a response.

I guess he's still mad. I don't blame him. X thought, a grimace stuck on his features. He pushed himself up onto shaky legs and looked around, hoping for anything that could get them out of this place.

He can't tell if it's a miracle that someone opened up the door after he stood up, rushing over to the ID pad.

"Come on, you have to get out of here! Before the guard comes back!" The alternate Lucy whisper-yelled, a panicked look on her face. X heard Speed getting up as the energy bars flashed out of existence, letting himself walk through the entrance.

"Why are you helping us?" X asked, his voice raspy.

"Don't ask, just go!" She pointed to the open door, which showed a concerned Chim-Chim. X couldn't argue with that logic, and started to run.

He can't fix the past, but he can sure as hell fix the future.


End file.
